stress.

i sleepwalked last night.
ommo. i cant believe it.
i choose not to believe it.

and the only thing i can remember is:
i dozed off inside the bookroom,
and woke up the next morning, on my bed, with the fan NOT on, without feeling sticky with sweat, and left my specs in the bookroom, and my handphone in the living room.

which means:
1) i did not on my fan.

2) i did not sweat at all.
3) i did not place my specs on the small cupboard beside my bed, like what i did everyday.
4) i did not bring my hp (to wake me up with its alarm) to bed.

mum told me that she called me to go to bed,
and i just stood up and walked to my bed,
without myself realizing *unconscious*
i cant even recalled that she talked to me!
and then why didnt i on the fan?
here's malaysia you know, it's super hot even during night time.
AND the scary thing is,
i dont even remember that i actually walked all the way from the bookroom to my bed.

im doomed.
so much stress until i sleepwalked.
and developed diseases such as night blindness and drowsiness.
in all of a sudden, i've grown OLD.
ommo x/

im growing old in all of a sudden, mainly because of
last week 2 days + this wed. 1 day + slept at 5am on thursday = 3.5 days without sleep.
my body cells all die a lot already :(
what to do? life still goes on.
the deadline remains unchanged even if we do the assignment until ki siao.
even if we sacrifice our sleep for days.
even if we sleepwalked.
even if we take over all our group mate's job and carry the burden on our shoulder and work like nothing, or perhaps, a fool.


im just like the monkey above,
trying to hold an elephant with its little, skinny hands.
squeezing out a smile and keep on convincing myself that everything's okay,
and i can grab that elephant, it's just a small case.
nothing's impossible.
optimism? maybe a little bit.
more like 不知量力 i think (trying to do something we obviously cant)

i hate myself for being so soft-hearted.
and so naive, for thinking that i can do it. I CAN.

people gets tired sometimes.
im not a robot.
i just hope that i can still hold on until this semester ends at mid april.

quote from dream high.
very meaningful. i actually agree with it 100% :)
.
『世界上有两种幸福:
一种是 过去后觉得幸福了的幸福;
另一种是 那一瞬间是幸福的幸福。』

那瞬间觉得幸福的幸福 太珍贵了
回憶着那一瞬间 一直活下去 会发光的 ♥

.
你,也要幸福 :)

Comments

Anonymous said…
Lack of sleep makes eu hallucinate.. eu didn't? Haha
Unknown said…
nope. i seriously sleepwalked. cham le xx
Anonymous said…
nvm its okie LOL

as long u dun simply hit ppl xD

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